There are two kinds of people…

So you know how last week I was all “I’ve got a super long awesome post coming your way next week”?

I STILL have not had time to finish it.  I’m pretty much the worst blogger ever.  Well maybe not the WORST WORST ever. Anyway, the moral of the story is I’m sorry. And the post IS coming. Soon.

Remember a month ago when I posted about looking for work and being mildly terrified of impending homelessness? Well that very day I got not one but TWO jobs, and I’m currently fielding an offer from a third.  It was no jobs, then all the jobs. Life is funny that way.

Well, for one of the jobs I have to get up at 3:30 a.m.


A. M.

When I tell you that I am not a morning person, I would like to stress that I mean that with all my heart. There are 5 alarms on my phone set at 10 minute intervals, and I’m still paranoid about sleeping in, and that’s when I have to get up at 8 a.m. I’m not cranky in the morning or anything, it’s just as soon as I’m asleep that becomes the most important thing in the world. My house could be burning down and I’d be like “Meh. The dream I was having was really good. I’m just gonna go back to sleep.”

Of course when they offered me the job they asked if I would mind the 5 a.m. start time, and because I didn’t want to be homeless I was all like “Sure! *perky* *perky* No problem!” but I left out the part where I have never seen 5 a.m., let alone 3:30 a.m. in the morning in my whole entire life unless I was still up drinking from the night before.

The last month of my life has been pretty interesting. I’m exhausted ALL THE TIME while I adjust to this ludicrousness and I have yet to sleep for more than 5 consecutive hours at a time (normally I sleep for like 9 hours) since taking the position.  Plus with the second job three days of my week are 14 hour days.

When I get up for work in the morning even my cat looks at me like “What the fuck is wrong with you? It’s the middle of the night. The whole world is sleeping. You’ve lost your goddamned mind.”

Thankfully I’m only filling a leave so I only have to keep this pace up for another 5 months, and I am slowly starting to adjust.

So. I’m sorry. I love you. Please stick with me through this.


I think we’ve established which one I am.