Where am I? What’s happening?

So in addition to a million projects, I’m moving. I don’t have a place to live yet, so send me good vibes. Also? Moving is the worst.

In addition to all that, I have some personal stuff happening that is stressing me out. One of the things that happens to me when I get stressed out is that I get easily confused. And super ADD. I have trouble keeping details straight.

Sometimes this leads to hilarity.

For example, I just thought that it was April but that May was already over.

Figure that one out.

I can’t.

Because that’s not at all how months work.

The good news is that some of my projects are wrapping up, which is good because my focus in GONE right now. I talked to my partner-in-crime for the Death Cafe and that is pretty much taken care of at this point, so it’s one thing off my plate.

I assume you’re wondering, “What the hell is a Death Cafe?”

Because people’s first reactions are usually “oh… isn’t that a little… morbid?” The answer is: it shouldn’t be, and it doesn’t have to be. We are living in a culture that isolates us from death, and discourages healthy conversations about it. That has some real-world impacts on our medical systems, on our end-of-life care, and on our burial customs.

There’s even some – dare I say it – cool things to talk about. Did you know you could have your ashes pressed into a record, over your favourite songs and stories? Or a diamond? Or you can become a tree!

I know that if I become a diamond, I hope I’m involved in some sort of epic heist.

So whether you’re afraid of death (like me!) or totally cool with it (like my co-host!), or just love to talk about anything and everything (like us!), death is a topic that is totally worth chatting about.

The purpose of Death Cafes is to normalize conversations around death.

Of course, I had so much fun designing the banner for this.

PS – In honour of my last-minute and somewhat frantic move, check this out. His captions are hilarious and it’s keeping me sane right now.

PPS – Because my life if so erratic right now, my posting schedule will be all over the place. I may even miss one or two. Please stick with me until things calm down again.

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Did you guys know there are dildos with cameras?

***Full disclaimer: this post talks about dildos and vaginas. If you’re not cool with that, I suggest coming back later.***

So my techy sister and I had the following conversation:

A little while later we had this follow-up conversation:

 

PS – I’m really scared of the type of google searches that are going to lead people to this post.

PPS – If you’re here because you were looking for sexy time videos (aka porn), I’m sorry.

 

 

I’ll take that Premium D…

***Bonus post for my other post this week just being me posting about how I can’t post and the posting is f’ked up.***

***I may have just created a blogging black hole. Also, if you followed that, congratulations! You get a sucker.***

***This is that post I was having trouble with, I wanted to add a bunch of Beauty and the Beast GIFS but WordPress won’t let me because they hate me. Or you. Probably you.***

***I’ve since found out that it has something to do with the capabilities of WordPress.org over WordPress.com. I have to import my whole blog over to .org and find hosting and a bunch of other stuff to add GIFS. The moral of the story is no GIFs for you.***

***For now at least. No one knows what the future holds.***

I’ve been pulling some crazy days lately. All my days seem to be 18 hour days, but I’m working on super fun, creative projects so it’s okay.

One of the things I’m doing is launching a Podcast with one of my best friends (I’ll tell you about it soon!) and we actually have an event booked already, which has really put the pressure on our deadlines.

Instead of our weekly meeting last night, we decided to take a break from all the hard work over the last couple of months and go see Beauty and the Beast. It was…

AH-MUH-ZING.

And not just the movie. Or the soundtrack. Which I will be singing for a week.

But the tickets… we sprung for the “Premium D-Box Seats” and could. not. stop. giggling. Because we have the emotional maturity of 12-year-olds. (For those that don’t know, the Premium D seats are the ones that move and shake and shit.)

I didn’t realize the seat could be turned up or down, and for realz, the next time I go I’m going to ‘jack up the intensity of that Premium D’.

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!!! What?!?!?!

I’m fairly certain at this point they didn’t get named Premium D by accident.

What’s your best Premium D pun?

PS – Oh, and it’s Good Friday. Can anyone tell me what resurrection has to do with Easter Eggs, and why do they come from bunnies? It’s like religion was designed to make you stop asking questions. #zombiejesus

PPS –

 

Technical Issues

I’m experiencing some technical issues with my blog – that don’t at all make me want to smash my computer into a thousand tiny pieces that I crunch to dust under the heels of my feet…

…I just realized I would make a terrifying dictator.

Fuck. I’m coming back as soon as I figure this out.

Who else feels like a vaudeville right now?

I’m still here! Juggling too many projects. Be back soon!

On the upside, I’ll have much to tell you. Stay tuned!

UPDATE: WordPress just informed me this was my 100th post…

Well, fuck.

The most glorious sports you will ever see.

Remember when I posted about this comedy gold? Well..

The man. The legend. The commentary. It’s back!

PS – My favourite part was the stretcher that said “Reserved for Sterling”. I’m dying.

I don’t know how to Ad.

I had some things recently that I needed to sell, but because I rarely take things seriously I thought I’d try and make myself laugh along the way.

dresserfutonSeriously, it’s constantly funny to me that I’m allowed to be in charge of my own life.

PS – I totally sold the dresser. Nobody wants the futon cause futon’s are terrible.

Really, not helpful.

I have a tendency to write random notes or thoughts, especially at work, and especially during phone calls or conversations. Usually these thoughts and observations get transcribed onto sticky notes. I run my life on stickies.

These stickies, however, aren’t always useful.

A prime example of this is a post-it note I found at work:

sticky-v1‘Not engaging’ seems like a pretty important note.

I vaguely remember writing this as a reaction to something (a project, maybe?) that I reviewed, but beyond that I got nothing.

So I updated the sticky with a little “note to self”.

sticky-v2PS – Isn’t it truly shocking that “young professional” is a descriptor for me?

The universe is gaslighting me.

I was talking to a friend of mine, and she was like “Hey! I was reading this article on gaslighting the other day and I totally think the universe is gaslighting you.”

Because the universe never lets me go long before it starts messing with me. This is one of those times.

Me right now. Source.

Me right now. Source.

I’ve spent the majority of this week in a near-constant state of anxiety. Oddly not due to politics. But thanks to politics at least I have lots of company.

I’ll be back when I don’t feel like an animal chewing it’s foot out of a trap.

Probably next week.

PS – Here are a few comic strips I like to go to for distraction, if like me, you’re needing a little escapism right now:

Gun Show

Sarah’s Scribbles

The Pigeon Gazette

Silence Killed the Dinosaurs (this one’s a comic/blog blend)

I totally got this.

To be clear, I’ve never been a doomsday prepper. But the comfortable world we’ve built for ourselves has never seemed more at risk to me (at least during my lifetime). It’s not that I think anything in particular will happen, just that we are skating on some thin cultural ice right now.

I was discussing all this with my sister, and then a couple of days later I came across this article from the New York Times.

So, obvs, sent it to her.

prepping

Clearly, I’m all set.

PS – It might be that I’m crazy like a rich person. The difference is subtle, but substantial. Yet another indicator that I was meant to be born rich but the universe fucked up. You had one job, universe.

PPS – OR it could be subtle signs from the universe that I’m going to be super rich. I’m sorry for being so hard on you a second ago, universe. Please forgive me.

PPPS – Oh shit, what if the universe is going to hold a grudge now and not make me super rich?!

PPPPS – Dammit, I’m probably back where I started.

PPPPPS – Which is not at all totally prepared for the collapse of Western civilization.