And now I feel old. I’m terrible at titles. I’m sorry.

So I wrote this post today – Tuesday – and then totally realized that it made an awesome Throwback Thursday piece.  Last Thursday, I posted about a note I found in the wall of a restaurant instead.  So this is like a late ‘Throwback Thursday’ piece.  I’m a TERRIBLE blogger.

OR, really this could be THIS week’s ‘Throwback Thursday’ and that means that I’m totally early.  Which makes me a SUPER awesome blogger and I’m just ahead of the game. 

I’m going with SUPER awesome.

I should probably just wait and post this on Thursday.  But I’m not.  So you’re welcome.  Or I’m sorry.  One of those.

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I have a tendency to place too much sentimental value on things but I’m also OCD so it balances out  I’m totally not a hoarder may be a bit of a pat rat so I’m always trying to pair down my stuff.  I go on cleaning binges sometimes that focus on a certain area of my life – and for the past few days I’ve addressed music.  Partially this was digital (downloading new music, deleting old music, making sure my iTunes had album artwork) and part of this was physical.  By which I mean CDs (remember those?). I’m the type of person who usually has a couple boxes that I never actually unpack, but just bring with me every time I move.  One of those boxes was a box of CDs.  And I actually totally went through it today.

So I got rid of half of my CDs, and in the process found one by an artist that a relation of mine liked.  She also happens to be a little younger than I am.  I called her to see if she would like it, to which she causally informed me that her computer doesn’t have an optical drive.  None of her devices do.  She had no way to play it.  She doesn’t have any CDs at all.

If she wants to share music with her friends – she makes them a YouTube playlist.

In response I sent her this picture:

The accompanying text said "This is how people USED to share music".

The accompanying text said “This is how people USED to share music”.

I also came across this one:

The hilarious part is I have no fucking idea who Mitch and Jenn are.

The hilarious part is I have no fucking idea who Mitch and Jenn are.

PS – I also can never completely remember the correct usage of too vs to.  I have a loose understanding but somehow always come across a situation where I’m really not sure.  I’ve read the definition several thousand times.

PPS – And by several thousand times I mean three.

PPPS – Ok, so I just looked up too vs. to, again, and it’s “To is a versatile preposition. A few of its many definitions are (1) toward, (2) reaching as far as, and (3) until.1 Too is an adverb meaning (1) additionally, (2) excessively, (3) very, or (4) extremely.2 Whenever you’re in doubt about whether to use to or too, see if any of those synonyms of too (i.e., additionally, extremely, etc.) would work in its place. If none fits, then to is probably the word you’re looking for.”  So I got it right.  I think.  Seriously, this is a problem.  Source.

PPPPS – Mitch and Jenn, if you’re out there, I gave your CD to goodwill.  It was in that box for years and I assumed you didn’t want it anymore.

PPPPPS – I’m sorry.

UPDATE:  Did I just end a post with I’m sorry? To people I don’t know?  Wow, it’s not hard to tell I’m Canadian.

UPDATE X2: I’m literally fighting the urge to say “I’m sorry” again as I type.  It’s a problem.  I may need therapy.

Innocence

This is a Throwback Thursday piece, but it’s not funny,  it’s more… introspective.  I don’t know what it is.  Feel free to skip it and come back when I’m funny again.

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Is that a barbeque lighter in her hand? Knowing our parents, it wouldn’t surprise me.

This is a picture of my sister when she was little.  For some reason, pictures just don’t look like that anymore.  There are so many filters that try to mimic the ‘old picture’ quality – but I’ve never seen one that truly works.  There’s a quality to authenticity that can’t be faked.

There’s something about this picture for me – it makes me nostalgic for a time I can’t quite remember.  When the world was filled with magic and possibility.  When it was safe and wonderful and anything could happen.  And then you get a little older, leave the shelter of your parents and childhood, and encounter a side of the world that just a little more brutal.  You get your battle scars, and that’s called living, it’s called life.  It’s totally unavoidable.

And it’s ok.  It makes you wiser, and stronger.  It’s simply a part of growing up.  We all go through this process.  But the thing is, we do lose something in that process.  We lose wonder.  We lose awe.  We lose wonder and awe at everyday, ordinary life.  We stop finding magic and beauty in tiny moments.  And as much as I treasure my scars, as much as they show who I am, and exemplify the road I’ve walked, sometimes I want to go back.

Back to a time when magic was possible.

I’ve been away making irresponsible decisions

Is it really a ‘Throwback Thursday piece if it happened three days ago?  I say yes.

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Sorry for the hiatus – my work sent me away to another province for three days for ‘Professional Development & Recognition’.  I wrote a post for you before I left but then it didn’t seem funny enough so I didn’t publish it and then I got distracted because I procrastinated packing and then went into panic mode.  So the usual.

I had to rent a car and drive through three provinces (it’s not a far as it sounds but still pretty far) and in a city I wasn’t familiar with.  I have PTSD (probably) from a bad car accident a few years ago that I can’t actually remember (I spent three months in the hospital and was in a wheelchair for awhile – that’s another story for another time).  So I was pretty stressed out about the whole thing and therefore a little more flustered than usual but to be honest I’m not great to start with and usually just somehow make things more complicated than they need to be.

So I forgot an important piece of paper for a presentation that I had to give during the conference (way to start out on the wrong foot me) which threw off my morning schedule just a tid.  My first stop along this journey was at the International Airport in Halifax to pick up a couple of colleagues I hadn’t met yet.  I was wound up the night before and stayed up a little too late – from the stress of driving and not having packed at all – so I was pretty tired and drinking a lot of coffee.  When I arrived at the airport I decided to run in to use the bathroom and check the flights to make sure they weren’t delayed.  When I came back out my car was gone.  I think I walked in three circles wondering if I had managed come out the wrong door.  I didn’t.  I somehow didn’t notice the signs posted everywhere stating that unattended vehicles will be towed.  As it turns out?  They take that shit seriously yo.  I was gone maybe 7 minutes.

But I got the car back fairly quickly (before my colleagues even arrived) and it only cost me $17.95 so it turned out alright.  I was thankful it wasn’t much worse than that (can you imagine?  “It’s nice to meet you – I’m sorry, I got our car towed.  Would you like to go splits on getting a cab to the impound lot a million miles away?  I’m kind of broke.  Also, I think we’re going to miss the first session of the conference.”).

Then I stopped along the way to refuel and my corporate card wouldn’t work.  I have no idea why.  When I called about it later the card company actually didn’t know why either – so that one’s totally not on me.  One of the colleagues I picked up ended up using hers.  Shortly after – seriously like 10 minutes later – we got lost.

You know, come to think of it, I think I could’ve really used that ‘Development’ piece of the conference.  I should have paid better attention.

There were deer at this conference.  This is a terrible picture taken through a window and you can totally see the reflection of my lanyard.  This is also the ONLY outdoor picture I took.  At a beautiful location.  So you're welcome. Or I'm sorry.  One of those.

There were deer at this conference. This is a terrible picture taken through a window and you can totally see the reflection of my lanyard. This is also the ONLY outdoor picture I took. At a beautiful location. So you’re welcome. Or I’m sorry. One of those.

SIDE NOTE: This kind of thing happens to me all the time so I really just found it funny.  Also, we did make it to the conference on schedule and I had a blast and learned a lot.  Mainly that newfies know how to party.

They gave us playdough to play with during the sessions to keep our hands busy.  BRILLIANT.

They gave us playdough to play with during the sessions to keep our hands busy. BRILLIANT.

All I did was make flowers during all the sessions.  It was AWESOME.

Seriously, all I did was make flowers during all the sessions. It was AWESOME.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SIDE NOTE 2:  I made it through the whole thing without freaking out AT ALL and I’m actually pretty proud of myself.  I didn’t have an anxiety attack once during all that driving, even in heavy traffic.  My presentation went over really well, I was even told I’m a great public speaker and definitely right for the job.  And I made a lot of new work friends.

I’m an Idiot.

So we’ve all had those moments where we do or say something completely idiotic, and then you’re like “WTF, me?”  but you don’t answer yourself because that would be crazy. Wow, I’ve gotten off point already – this is gonna be a fun post.  Good luck.

Right. Idiotic moments.  I’m back.  I once had one that lasted a year and a half.  No joke.  Think about that the next time you have one of those moments and want to immediately feel better about yourself.  You’re welcome.

A few years ago, they had these commercials on TV for Canesten.  They advertised themselves as the ‘one pill solution for vaginal yeast infections’.  Now, up until this point in my life I’ve been very lucky and haven’t had to deal with that issue (although I know that many women do – it’s very common and so not a big deal).  Here’s where it got complicated for me.  These commercials would run, and at the end they would say “now comes with an easy applicator” and they would show this:

Canesten ApplicatorAnd honest-to-God every time it ran, for the life of me, I could not figure out why anyone would want a plastic pill holder.  I mean, if you have a yeast infection and have to take a pill for it I guess it’s kind of nice that it would come with accessories like a “pill holder” – but it seemed completely useless and frankly a waste of plastic (and it wasn’t even pink and pretty – useless accessories should at least be pretty).  These were the idle thoughts that ran through my head every time I saw that commercial run.

This went on for far longer than it ever should have.  Then one day – in the middle of a party of all places – the commercial came on and suddenly I got it.  It hit me all at once.  I GASPED, and exclaimed “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”.  Understandably I also suddenly had a room full of people giving me strange looks and asking what the hell I was going through.  I had to explain that all this time I had just automatically assumed that this treatment was oral without any thought (I mean, you take pills right?) and that I had just figured out the secret of the applicator.

I’m an idiot.