I’ve been shortlisted!

I have some exciting news – I’ve been shortlisted for the Prince Edward Island Literary Awards!

I’ve never submitted anything to any type of writing competition before, so it’s pretty cool to be shortlisted on my first try. And a provincial one at that. So even if I don’t win, I’m still totally stoked about this whole thing (ie you’ll find me crying in my bourbon later that evening but I’ll totally hold it together for the Gala).

The Awards Gala is in May, and my first thought when I read ‘Gala’ was; Is it cool if I show up in jeggings or do I have to get fancy?

I have messed up priorities (which are obviously any kind of pant without a zipper, pizza, and Netflix – sometimes I think I need to re-evaluate my life choices).

I know, I can’t believe they picked me either, but here’s the proof.

In other news, here’s a great example of why I love my friends:

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Because they take my weirdness and off-the-wall references totally in stride.

PS – I don’t even drink bourbon, it just seems like a “crying into” kinda drink.

PPS – For the record, a Charlie Sheen hookup indicates a matter of hours and a Taylor Swift relationship is calculated in weeks. If someone responses with “think Dracula”, that means ‘pretty much forever’.

PPPS – Please don’t sue me Charlie Sheen/Taylor Swift! I have no money. It’s not worth it.

The Secret to Adulting

Dirty 30It’s my birthday today! TODAY.

I’m celebrating my the second anniversary of my 29th birthday, or for those of you still following along, the big 3-0. And it’s kind of terrifying.

As I draw closer to the ‘dirty 30’ I can’t help but ponder all the ways in which I’m still terrible at adulting, but I think I may have unlocked a couple secrets along the way.  And I wrote this article for G! Magazine about it.

Stay tuned next week when I write about winning an Oscar.  And also about why time-travel will lead to getting eaten by raptors. Seriously, it’s all gonna come together next week. It makes sense, I promise.

PS – Happy Friday the 13th everyone! It’s lucky for me, and it’s lucky for all of you reading this because I’m sharing my birthday luck around.

Pumpkin Spice EVERYTHING.

So I wanted to share this with you guys before it’s actually winter. It’s my fall article for G! Magazine – the 10-Reasons-Why-Fall-Is-The-Best-Ever-And-I-Totally-Don’t-Miss-Summer-At-All List (because maybe you miss summer already like me and need a list to help you with the transition). Enjoy!

Link: The Pumpkin-Spice Season

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS.

I always joke about how they pumpkin-spice EVERYTHING and I love that madness but I did not realize just how prevalent this was.  I googled pumpkin-spice for an image for this post and while I should have seen another one of my Google adventures coming, somehow I did not. Here’s what I discovered:

PUMPKIN. SPICE. ALL. THE. THINGS.

Yes, we’ve finally accomplished it.  We win at fall.  Everyone can go home now.

Of course I had to share some of the weirder ones, we all know about pumpkin spice Oreos but I’ll bet you didn’t know about some of these (I sure didn’t):

Let’s start off nice and easy. I actually just want some pumpkin spice vodka now. I also saw a pumpkin-spice wine that I’m quite interested in. Someone send me some?

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PS-yogurtPumpkin spice greek yogurt. This could be good. I’d try it.

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marshmellowsPumpkin spice marshmallows. It makes sense, but I still didn’t know it was a thing.

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PS-soap-300x300Pumpkin spice soap. I’d TOTALLY use this.

I thought I would start you off easy on this list. Fair warning – it’s going to get weird soon.

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enhanced-30027-1410290043-15Pumpkin spice listerine strips. No joke.

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Four LokoI drank Four Lokos in New York, so this made the list.

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cedars-pumpkin-spice-hummus

Pumpkin spice… hummous?

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ps peepsI feel like Peeps probably need more than just Easter, so I’m gonna let this one slide.

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06e501537bc75f925a38b9a49a8c253dPumpkin spice pasta sauce. I don’t know why, but I can tell you it is.

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6d9a1e8274b1ecd312db94f6b621aca8Pumpkin spice beef jerky. Because why not?

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PS-chews-300x300Pumpkin spice pet chews. So your pet can get in on the pumpkin spice action too, I guess?

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pet shampooPumpkin spice cat and dog shampoo.  Seriously, my cat DOES NOT CARE about the pumpkin spice season.  I just asked him.

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EXIF_JPEG_T422Pumpkin spice soy milk. It’s completely weird, but I’d buy it. I’d put it in my coffee. Regular milk jumped on the bandwagon too.

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ps toothpastePumpkin spice toothpaste. This is really starting to get ridiculous.

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butterI can’t believe it’s not pumpkin spice! Oh wait, it is.

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PS-sausage1-300x300Pumpkin-spice chicken sausage. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

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PumpkinSpice TamponsI’m pretty sure this is a photoshop thing, but I didn’t research it too hard at all because I didn’t want to ruin it.  So I’m considering it a real thing until proven wrong, because they do have scented tampons, which frankly, is just as ridiculous.

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condomAnd the winner for most ridiculous? This. It’s not real, but it wins anyway. Also, I kind of think it will be real by next pumpkin season.

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funnyAnd I couldn’t not share this photo with you.

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I’m going to bed now because I finally can’t even.