So, I came across this wreath in my travels and even though I don’t decorate for Christmas (calm down, I just usually go away for the holidays and they have decorations up) I wanted to buy him and carry him around with me.
Seriously, I was thinking about forgoing gifts for my family, because honestly, all you need is Charlie.
Did I forget to mention I named him Charlie?
Yes, despite the big red lips and the false eyelashes that go on for miles, I am convinced that Charlie is a him and he is living his very best life dammit.
Luckily for my family, when I went back to get him he was already gone. I hope that wherever he is, he is being treated well and appreciated for all his glory.
To my family:
I’m sorry I lost out on him.
Or you’re welcome?
It depends on how attached you are to your definitely-not-as-awesome-as-Charlie gift that you’re getting.
Prepare to have a framed picture of Charlie put under the tree, with a candle and flowers in an Ode-to-the-Christmas-that-almost-was.
Also, every toast I make will be to Charlie. Imma get hella tipsy.
PS – To my family: in all honestly, I’m so sorry you’re related to me. My bad.
PPS – To the rest of the world: you’re definitely welcome. For me not being related to you, I mean.