I’ve finally found my spirit animal. My patronus, for you Potter fans out there.

So pretty. Source.
This is a goth chicken.
It’s a genetic mutation, of course. All the best things are. It’s known as fibromelanosis, which just means that the birds produce 10x more melanin than your run-of-the-mill Foghorn Leghorn.

Foghorn J. Leghorn – from Looney Tunes, obviously. The greatest show from my childhood. Source.
This means that the Goth Chicken is totally black – from feathers to bones. To it’s black, black heart. The inky colour is so deep it’s iridescent in the feathers, shimmering with purples and blues.

Ermergerd look how cute that baby chick is… source.
It’s feathers, skin, bones, organs, muscle – all totally black.

Apparently, only his blood isn’t black. Cause hemoglobin and shit. Source.
How cool is that? I totally want one. I can keep a chicken in my apartment, right? Plus, in a zombie apocalypse you could eat him. Nutritious and delicious, tastes just like chicken.
I assume.
I’m pretty sure it is my spirit animal too, because I am a genetic mutation too. Bitter inside and out.
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That doesn’t sound like ‘pretty sure’ it sounds like ‘the surest thing I have ever been bitterly sure of’. #twinsies #spiritanimal
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You are so right. There is no pretty sure about it. We are definitely spirit animal twinsies.
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I didn’t know it until right now, but I’ve literally always wanted a spirit animal twinsie. #SpotTheIrony
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I can’t figure out the irony. I’m not so good at figuring out things. I guess I should just be happy to be a spirit animal twinsie.
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That I didn’t know about [blank] but always wanted [blank]. You can’t have always wanted something you didn’t know about.
Perhaps not so much irony as a logical fallacy… #ISuckAtThisToo #MoreTwinsies
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Yeah, I pretty much suck at most things except for bitterness and sense of humor.
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Nonsense.
You EXCEL at humour, bitterness, writing and commentary.
That has to at least put you at mediocre on the overall score. 😉 😉 😉
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If there was a composite score then I would be in the poor range still because there is so many other things I’m terrible at. Like math. And if I knew math, we all know I would have taken over the world by now.
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I’m just teasing – you’re awesome and you know it.
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Yeah, I know it. But only a few elite people like you know it too.
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or … would he/she eat you?
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A distinct possibility friend – however ‘eaten by goth chicken’ is a pretty cool way to go. I’m still in.
Do you know they’re creating raptor chickens? A goth raptor chicken would be epic, but would definitely increase the ‘eaten’ risk factor.
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