Somehow, I’m not surprised.

So recently I had a fundraising gala I was setting up for, and I was taking down pipe and draping.

For anyone who doesn’t know, pipe and drape is this stuff:

I'm now going to have PTSD flashbacks every time I see this stuff.

I’m now going to have PTSD flashbacks every time I see this stuff. On the plus side, I think that means I get out of attending all future weddings.

Anyway, I had to take out the poll from the bottom cause it was like 9 feet tall, and the bottom stuck then popped off quickly causing the metal hook to jump out and swing down to hit me in the face.

Let me reiterate: I got hit in the face with a metal pipe.

Actually, more specifically, the hook from the metal pipe.

Can we try the hook for attempted murder?

Can we try the hook for attempted murder?

Anyhow, it cut my face and because it was a face cut it bled everywhere. But it turned out to be a super small cut so I figured I was fine and then just continued to work for another 12 hours for my gala.

The next day, when the swelling went down I was getting feelings of ‘movement’ or ‘vibrations’ under my eye when I laughed or coughed or simply spoke too loud (which lets be honest, is all the time).

It was super disconcerting so I went to the hospital and then to an eye specialist.

Turns out, though my face looks relatively unscathed, I have a small fracture in my orbital bone and air is getting in behind my eye from my nasal cavity. That’s what is causing all the sensations of movement.

Guys, I legit BROKE MY FACE.

Looks fine right?

Looks fine right? This does NOT accurately reflect my pain level.

I told my friend Jo this story and her first response?

“Yeah, that sounds about right.”

Cause this IS me we’re talking about so I have super weird luck.

So not only did I have to work my gala with a gash on my face, but I’ve felt super awkward in all my important meetings.

But it’s okay – I’m just telling everyone that my boss beats me and that makes up for it somehow.

PS – I think this means I qualify for danger pay now.

PPS – Does getting hit in the face with a metal pipe qualify me as ‘gangsta’? I think it does.

PPPS – I’m actually super lucky. If that metal hook – that hit me hard enough to break a bone in my face – had landed an inch higher I totally would have lost my eye. It also missed doing any damage to my tear duct, which is also super lucky.

PPPPS – If it HAD damaged my tear duct I would’ve cried blood. Then been hanged as a witch, probably.

PPPPPS – So that woulda sucked, like, double.

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3 thoughts on “Somehow, I’m not surprised.

  1. Pingback: Update: I broke my face. | Stories from the far side of normal

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