Next week they are doing an inquiry into my mother’s suicide, because she died in the hospital. This post talks about suicide and mental illness and may contain triggers. Feel free to skip it and come back when I’m funny again. This is for all of you out there that might be missing someone you lost to mental illness. Or grieving at all.
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This is a quote someone shared with me that represents the battle that so many face with mental illness. I unfortunately don’t have a source.
“Our friend [your mother] died on her own battlefield. She was killed in action fighting a civil war. She fought against adversaries that were as real to her as her casket is real to us. They were powerful adversaries. They took toll of her energies and endurance. They exhausted the last vestiges of her courage and strength. At last these adversaries overwhelmed her. And it appeared that she lost the war. But did she? I see a host of victories that she has won!
For one thing — she has won our admiration — because even if she lost the war, we give her credit for her bravery on the battlefield. And we give her credit for the courage and pride and hope that she used as her weapons as long as she could. Only God knows what this child of His suffered in the silent skirmishes. We shall remember not her death, but her daily victories gained through her kindnesses and thoughtfulness, through her love for family and friends, for animals and books and music, for all things beautiful, lovely and honorable. We shall remember the many days that she was victorious over overwhelming odds. We shall remember not the years we thought she had left, but the intensity with which she lived the years she had!”
I couldn’t have said it better.
Oh really?
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I really love this.
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Me too.
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That is really sweet of them to say. I hope when you think about her, you remember the good times and respect and admire her and lover her for the battles she DID win. My thoughts are with you…
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Thanks Ben, that means a lot. It was the perfect thing to read then, and it’s still one of the best quotes I’ve come across.
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You have your super funny side and you have your serious and sweet side and I’m sure it’s a struggle which to me depending on the situation.
But for the mentally ill like your mom the struggle was much greater. How will we ever know how much? And how can we as a society judge them so quickly when we have no idea the struggle they go through. And toss aside their feelings when they are usually the most brave for fighting their demons?
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Exactly. How can we judge them, look down upon them, for simply being prisoners of their own mind?
They’ve fought the greatest battles of all.
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Well, I just think she would be proud of the way you have turned out. And thankful that you are talking about her in such a beautiful way.
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Thank you, I hope she’s proud too.
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Bless you darling Granddaughter, very moving, brings tears to my eyes again. Your Nan told me about the radio announcements, I talked with the hospital and asked to have a written report. They agreed but not sure if they will follow through.
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