The little things…

I’ve been in one of those modes recently where I’ve let the daily grind wear and tear me up.  I’m working too hard for too little money.  I’m beating myself up for not accomplishing the million tasks I think I should be doing. For all the bills that get paid a day too late. But here’s the thing: I’ve been worrying about stuff that, in the grand scheme of it all, doesn’t really matter.

Don’t get me wrong, daily life is stressful. It’s hard not to get caught up in it all. I’ve been in this place before,  I’ll be in this place again. But somewhere in the middle, I remember that I’m alive. I’m so lucky that every day I wake up, my eyes open. It’s all an adventure, the good and the bad. And I’m grateful to be along for the ride.

I try to remind myself that that from one moment to the next, every single second is unique. I will never be here, exactly as I am now, in this moment again.

I try to remind myself to worry less.

I try to remind myself to enjoy the ride a little more.

I try to remind myself that the problems of today, will soon enough be the problems of yesterday.

I will never be here, exactly here, again.

And I am so goddamn lucky to be here, to be my over-anxious, worry-riddled, carefree, reckless, shy, spotlight-lovin’ complex contradictory self.

I remind myself to appreciate it.

I remind myself not to let it slip by unnoticed – overshadowed by the daily grind and all my worries.

I read something recently that put all this philosophy into a pithy little sentence:

“How you spend your days is how you spend your life.”

My first thought was “Damn, I need watch less Netflix”. My second thought was “I am so not pithy. It takes me a million sentences to convey any point. I’m more the ‘long-winded’ type”. My third thought was “Netflix is the shit though”.

And I made a vow not to worry so much, to not to obsess about the things that are out of my control. That no matter my life circumstances, I will strive for happiness.

And also to forgive myself when I get sucked back into the daily stress. When I worry too much about the little things. To recognize that as an inevitability. To see it as human.

But I will strive to live my days with joyful abandon.

To make my days count.

To make my life count.

I’m here, after all.


15 thoughts on “The little things…

  1. part of me (an increasingly (creased) smaller part) sort of wants to applaud and say “good! DO IT! be that way!” but, sigh, for me at least, i’m at the point where, if I become temporarily optimistic and want to expand my consciousness and consideration, etc. — part of me says “don’t worry. it won’t last.”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My dream is to someday have a Netflix movie, which people will want to quote a line from. But that is so futury. I guess I need to take some advice from you and just…you know be happy with my comment I just typed. Live in the moment!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Netflix. moovies. one about you? about me?

      daze such as yesterday where esposa y yo became, well, fuimos “piedra’d” — most conversational lyings I came up with were from mooveez.

      sutch azz: I told her we had to come up with a name for our so called “musical duo” other than MELTDOWN. Why not Dostoyevski? I opined. wear did dat cum frum she askt. (?) well, what motivated me was an exchange early in the movie “Money Pit” — in which the T Hanx’ character is talking with a (eh … crummy? not good?) musical band he represents or is the agent for.
      “we’re going to change our name to Meryl Streep.”
      “i can guarantee you a huge lawsuit.”
      “you don’t think she’d be flattered?”

      but I/we’re fairly sure that we shouldn’t run into legal trouble if we become Dostoyevsky.

      Liked by 2 people

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