From June to October, living on an Island in Eastern Canada rocks. There’s sun, ocean, parties, concerts and total bliss. Then our beautiful little Island turns into a winter wasteland and all of your daydreams consist of embracing the 60 year old lifestyle early and moving to Florida where all you have to worry about it sinkholes.
I guess with ice on the ground now my mind keeps wandering back to a time of the year when I could really enjoy living on an Island by going to a beach (one of my favourite things to do), and that reminded me of a funny story I’d like to share with you. Obviously, it takes place at a beach. But not this beach. This beach is my new happy place (Thunder Cove, PEI if any of you would ever like to visit Canada).
So I’m the type of girl that likes to have an ’emergency tampon’ in most of my bags – not only for myself but in solidarity to all women. Because nothing sucks more than not having a tampon when you need it.
Just a few months ago, for example, I was drinking in a bar and as one does when drinking in a bar I eventually found myself in the bathroom. From the stall next to me, I heard the question I love to hear: “Excuse me, weird question but… Do you happen to have a tampon?”
“I SURE DO!!” I exclaimed excitedly.
I fished out my emergency tampon while explaining my habit of carrying ’emergency tampons’ for the world at large and we bonded over our stupid uteruses and the misery they called us and for 20 minutes I had a new best friend.
We even went to the bar after and had ‘period shots’. Naturally we choose a red liquor.
Where was I? Right. Beach. Anyway, I always have an emergency tampon at the beach cause that seems like the most horrifying place to be stuck without a tampon.
One day, I was there with a few friends and I went for a walk. Upon returning, one of my guy friends looked at me, with sadness in his eyes, and said “I went in your bag looking for a lighter and I thought I found candy. I opened it and it was not candy. It was a tampon.”
Frankly, I couldn’t imagine a more disappointing letdown to “Hey I just found candy!” for a guy.
But on the other hand – that’s what you get for trying to steal my candy asshole.
PS – Spellcheck doesn’t like uteruses. Uteri? OMG SPELLCHECK TOOK THAT.
PPS – I still prefer uteruses.
PPPS – I think the most important thing you can learn from this is giving away tampons will get you free shots. That’s what I learned from this.