So the other day I was hobbling into my doctor’s office with my twisted ankle and busted up knee, and as I get into the elevator I spot this gem:
You know what? Fuck you Bob. I don’t need your judgement right now.
Sidenote: This whole scenario made me giggle enough that I spent 20 minutes of my wait time deleting things off my iPhone (because it perpetually tells me “not enough free space – like at all. Oh, you want to take a picture do you? Well you can’t. And not even if you delete 10 pictures, cause apparently disk space doesn’t work like that. Do you really need all this junk on your phone? Bitch*, delete some things”) so that I could take Bob’s picture on my way out because that’s how much I love you guys.
*I don’t know why my phone is so mean to me. Pretty soon, I will stand for this abuse no longer. As soon as I grow a backbone. Apple, I’m looking at you.**
**I’m sorry Apple, I don’t know what I’m saying. I love you. Please keep making pretty*** things.
***Pretty useless things. Buuuuuuuuuurn.
Stories from the far side of normal 
I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and stairs are literally hell for me and (because I look healthy) I am scared of seeing other people’s judgement when I do things like take the lift one floor or sit down when there is limited seating.
But you know what? Even if I was healthy, I can take the lift if I so choose. Fuck this Bob guy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You know what? After reading your comment, I might make “Fuck Bob” my new slogan.
None of us need his judgement.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hah! I had the same issue with the iPhone too, so I switch the Samsung. I’ve been happy ever since!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve heard great things about Samsung! I’m very glad that you found your happily ever after. ;P
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, Bob is kind of judgemental. It’s like why would I go on the stairs when there is an escalator or elevator? That’s like saying take this celery or take this chocolate. Come on, we know the chocolate should be taken every time, Bob.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha, I know right?! C’mon Bob, get your shit together!
LikeLike
And quit being such a goody two shoes, Bob. Go back to eating your kale and almond salad.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Kale and Almond Salads were made for people like Bob. People that probably even give up drinking when they go on diets. It’s crazy.
LikeLike
They practically invented Trader Joe’s just for that guy. They should call it Trader Bob’s because he is a traitor to the rest of society. I hope he chokes on an almond.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m from Canada so I don’t know what Trader Joe’s is?
Choking to death on a kale and almond salad would be the ultimate form of irony.
LikeLike
Oh sorry (I just pronounced that they way Canadians do). Trader’s Joe is like this super healthy health store that you would buy your Kale and Almond Salad at.
Bob deserves to choke that way, but he should get hives first.
So is your leg/knee feeling better? Do you have a cast or crutches?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aw, thank you for asking!
No, I totally lucked out – nothing broken. The sprained ankle will take a few weeks to heal but I can walk on it. Hopefully the knee will sort itself out in the same time span!
LikeLike
Thank goodness, luckily I’ve never broken anything except for my spirit. Hopefully you at least have a few battle scars to brag about (I mean aboot.) Yeah Canada!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh I’ve broken lots of bones! I’m all full up on battle scars. 😉
LikeLike
I’ve got some scars (one from when I was six) but not broken bones. Kind of jealous of your ability to break bones!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Odd thing to be jealous of, but I’ll take it! ;P
If you’re really committed, just get yourself a vitamin D deficiency and you’ll be all set the next time you fall down.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Also, your Canadian was very impressive.
LikeLike
Well, I’m a huge fan of Jim Carrey and many other Canadian actors so I’ve learned to speak it.
LikeLiked by 1 person