Soooo, I’m a day late and a dollar short in posting this.
This week, just a few days ago, irony found me and I wished that the meeting was just a bad blind date that I could bail on but alas no, we decided to go away for the weekend together and there is no escape from our cottage getaway.
Here’s the story: I was rushing to leave work on Wednesday, and since I left a few minutes after the building closed I had to go out the back door. What I didn’t notice was that at the bottom of the steps the concrete had a 4 inch drop-off in it. Well, as I came down the stairs, all my forward momentum behind me, my foot landed exactly half on and half off this drop-off. Thus began an unfortunate series of events.
My left ankle rolled inward, beginning my fall. Next, my right knee and right hand bore the brunt impact of my weight as I tried to catch myself. This didn’t quite work out, and I bounced off then concrete then rolled limbs flailing and I finally came to a stunned stop 5 feet from where I first fell.
I’m not clumsy but apparently when I fall I fall HARD.
I had somehow managed to injure ALL FOUR OF MY LIMBS in this one fall. I was bleeding from multiple places and neither of my legs were working properly which made the walk home super fun.
Where the hell does irony come into this story you might ask?
Well, you see, I was rushing too a… meditation class. Where I thought I might learn insider tricks to slowing down and leading a more meaningful life in the present.
Yup.
This would only happen to me.
On the bright side? I can now take all the painkillers I want, guilt-free! So if this post doesn’t make sense, blame it on the painkillers. No, you can’t have some. They’re mine.
This is what my painkillers look like to me right now. I feel like House.
PS – The massive amount of swelling in my ankle and knee convinced me to go a clinic and consult with a doctor. The doctor then convinced me to go to the hospital for xrays. I’m fine, so no worries! I just need a little healin’. Also, I’m very thankful to live in Canada where I have access to Healthcare so this didn’t cost me a small fortune.
Stories from the far side of normal 
How can you hate irony if you support sarcasm, one of its synonyms?
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I relate to this so much! I always manage to walk into walls or trip on flat surfaces somehow, resulting in an endless expanse of bruises and injuries on my legs. Love this story, and I hope you get better soon with all those pain meds 😉
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Thanks! I’m usually not that accident prone, but when I do fall apparently I go all out!
And I’d like to return those well wishes right back ya for the next time you stumble. ;P
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Flamboyant fallers, unite!
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Are you kidding?
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I say forget it. Flamboyance is pointless.
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Wow that sucks so hard. The ironic thing about me, is that I am so clumsy, that I have learned to fall better, so I usually injure myself less. And sorry about your fall, I know your ego was hurt too, but thanks for the laugh. As you know, every Friday I like to post gifs about people biffing it. So much so that I would have posted my son falling on his bike the first time (which I recorded) but the fates would not let me as it got erased. I so wish I could have posted your accident. But in all seriousness, sorry about your fall and hope you get better soon!
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I’m sure had someone recorded it, it would have been hilarious. Especially the look of “what just happened?!?!” that I’m sure was on my face. I totally would’ve let you post it.
If we’re gonna fall down, as we all do eventually, it might as well be spectacular, hilarious AND ironic. 😉
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All I know is that I really should just start a gif company where all we do is go out with cameras everywhere and film people that fall and fail. That way, missed opportunties that will be lessened. 🙂
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Except that as soon as I actually have my camera ready nothing exciting ever happens. Murphy’s Law.
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Dang right. My stupid cell phone camera takes so long to load that I was recording my son’s birthday the next day. Too bad we can’t transfer some of the funny things we see onto a camera somehow.
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I think the future may just hold that.
There was even a movie about it, a guy watches your life and then makes a memorial for your family and he uncovers a murder or conspiracy or something?
I am doing an awesome job at this. I probably shouldn’t have mentioned anything at all, but here we are….
Well this is awkward.
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Oh crap. I haven’t seen that movie and now I’m in big trouble. The only movie I’ve seen about the future is Back to the Future 2 and that only predicts that the Cubs will win the World Series this year.
And now you need to tell me what happens or I’m screwed…
Yep, this is awkward.
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The ONLY movie you’ve seen about the future is Back to the Future 2?! Wow, that IS awkward.
I think this is the first time in history that someone has said: ‘you need a Netflix binge, STAT. It’s for your own good. And the good of your friends and family. It’s for everyone, really’.
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Actually that isn’t true. I have seen Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. And yeah, I do need to get Netflixing. As soon as I get Netflix, I will.
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Deal. And I will watch Bill and Ted’s excellent adventure.
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Oh you haven’t seen Bill and Ted’s? I forget not everyone grew up at the same time as I did. It was pretty classic at the time. Pun intended.
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I hope that your honest about hatred of irony.
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Oops. I meant “you’re” and not “your.”
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Hilarity is just as stupid as irony.
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How can you apologize to her and wish her will if you’re bitter?
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