This isn’t a real post. I’m working on a real post for you now. It’ll be up tomorrow as long as I don’t die. Why might I die? Well, our freezer/fridge sucks and while I was away last week our freezer door popped open and everything mostly thawed. It’s frozen again now. Everything in our freezer spontaneously thaws on its own every now and again too. I don’t know why. It’s awesome.
Anyway, I’m tired of throwing away perfectly good food and I’m eating some chicken nuggets anyway (stop judging – they’re delicious and you know it) that may or may not have completely thawed (for god knows how long) and then froze again because I’m hungry and I don’t have a lot of food options in the house because
I really shouldn’t be in charge of looking after myself I’m a slightly mostly irresponsible adult. So if I end up on the hospital now you know what to tell the doctors. And if I should (god forbid) pass on then my dying wish is that somebody hack into my account and publish all of my drafts. That seems like a nice thing to do for you guys, but it’s actually not. They’re drafts for a reason. I’m sorry in advance.
PS – It’ll probably be fine because these chicken nuggets are processed as hell and I’m pretty sure they’d make it through a nuclear meltdown and be perfectly edible. Actually, food is kind of scary these days.
PPS – OMG MILLION DOLLAR IDEA YOU GUYS! My sister once dropped McDonald’s fries behind her dresser and didn’t find them until like 6 months later – and before you picture all kinds of grossness – they looked perfectly fine. I mean, the amount of preservatives that must be in those things to make that happen? Terrifying. BUT – if we could harness that power into a cream that women could use to stop the aging process so that they would just look like 25 until the day they dropped dead? We’d all never have to worry about money again. Someone contact the execs at McDonald’s. We’re gonna need access to their magical-french-fry-preserving-formula. I assume that’s what they officially call it.
PPPS – WE’LL CALL IT ‘VAMPIRE ELIXIR’ AND PUT A SPARKLY VAMPIRE ON THE BOTTLE. Seriously, I cannot stop coming up with great ideas right now. Or terrible ones, I can’t really tell. I should probably go to bed.
PPPPS – Please don’t sue me Stephanie Meyer.